Substitute Adventures

the-full-grohac: urdchama: foodnun: DAMN ohoSNAP. This is...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 00:57:09 -0400

urdchama:

foodnun:

DAMN

ohoSNAP.

This is an amazing campaign.

"No disrespect your wiki was great don’t get me wrong, good read but it would of been better if..."

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 09:12:51 -0400

“No disrespect your wiki was great don’t get me wrong, good read but it would of been better if you…”

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Reading students’ comments on each others essays and I see this.

I love it.

ohmybeatingspark: mammacarnage: candymandie: artist-confession...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:38:14 -0400

ohmybeatingspark:

mammacarnage:

candymandie:

artist-confessions:

My grade 4 teacher took my desk away because I would draw on it. I was to sit on the floor for months as my punishment. (Deserved or not, to an 8 year old this was really embarrassing.)

My grade 7 teacher went into my desk to go through my folder of (admittedly angsty) art without my permission, then went to my mother. Because of her I was forced to see the school psychiatrist regularly.

My grade 8 teacher told me art could never be a career and that I would end up without any worth, working somewhere trashy for my whole life.

My grade 9 teacher ripped up my entire art folder because I was drawing in class, after bawling in front of everyone she then chased me into the washroom to lecture me while I hid to cry in a stall.

My grade 10 teacher didn’t believe I had painted something by myself, she told me it was plagiarism and gave me zero. When it was in fact 100% mine.

This is just few of many.

Thirteen years have passed and I am ashamed to admit that any of this still affects me. These instances for which I am sure are insignificant to any of you shook my confidence, sucked the passion out of my only escape, and made me feel as if my hobby was wrong, worthless, and should be hidden; and for that I will never forgive them.

submitted by -Anonymous

i have this tick where my hands have to be constantly moving or i get really uncomfortable (it’s also why i do origami) so sometimes i’d doodle in my notebook and i can look at any old doodle and tell you what i was learning when i was drawing it becuase that’s how i concentrated

Reason why I don’t creative write as much as I used to anymore.

Had to do a diary piece from a character from Of Mice and Men.

100% mine, 100% emotional

Teacher

Teacher said it was plagiarism.

Told me to write something completely unrelated - didn’t match up to what I had written.

No because you didn’t make me write an emotional piece.

I hate you for ripping my skills out like that you piece of shit.

Mine isn’t so severe…but in Grade 9 I asked my English teacher if I should take an AP Lang class 10th grade and she told me my writing isn’t there yet and that I may not be ready. Then in 10th grade I asked my 10th grade English teacher if I should sign up for AP Lang my Junior year and she told me the same thing my 9th grade teacher told me…

I gave up. I should’ve just signed up for AP English classes regardless what they said but I didn’t.

and if I did maybe I would’ve been confident in my writing today.

And also, I fear I have artist block…only because in Sophomore year my Art teacher lied to me about how my still life portrait was great and I found out she gave me a B-. Felt lied to.

It’s sometimes sad how teachers act when they’re supposed to be our mentors and help encourage us.

I know both sides of this now. I grew up being the one drawing at my desk, and now I’m a teacher. It’s such a difficult thing, grading art. Something can be beautifully done, but if the assignment is to draw a flower and you draw a heart because you’re better at it, I can’t give that artwork more points than the people who painted the flower whether or not they felt they were good at painting flowers. Grades are more complicated than skill and don’t always reflect the quality of the work. I experienced it in college. I drew something I felt was pretty advanced among my peers and was given a B because I didn’t draw what I was supposed to.

And it’s hard to advise students about career paths. I wouldn’t lie to students when I tell them the market is tight and that good artists are out there struggling to make a living. That’s the truth. I see it in my own life and I see it with my other artist friends.

But being an artist is about more than money. Whether or not someone chooses it as a career path, I think everyone who can do it should keep it as a part of their life. After all, it’s not like riding a bike. The left side of the brain devours the right side if it becomes complacent. I guess what I’m saying is I’m sorry about what happened to all of you, and you should never give up.

zumonaran: One of the teachers I’m in for often is kind enough to write little notes next to...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:19:11 -0400

zumonaran:

One of the teachers I’m in for often is kind enough to write little notes next to students’ names on roster. Ex. “good helper”, “gets off task easily” etc. It helps a lot so I know who I can rely or who I need to watch.

Next to one of the girl’s names it just says “sneaky”. Love it.

From one of my student’s research papers: “There is...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 16:41:31 -0400

From one of my student’s research papers:

“There is even food that can be printed, given you have the right materials to put into the 3D printer. You just download the food and minutes later you have an edible piece of food that you got off of the computer.”

It reminds me of that Spongebob episode where Plankton is trying to throw a krabby patty into his machine which will find out the hidden formula. And thus, he could create a krabby patty!

Story from the Nerd Teacher: The students needed to know what...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 00:54:58 -0400

Story from the Nerd Teacher: The students needed to know what page to turn to in the text, and I told them. But then I thought of Snape and said, trying to mimic him, “Turn to page three hundred and ninety four.” One guy chuckled, but the rest of them started asking which of the two pages it was. Well we know at least one of them is getting points to their house cup.

"Substitute teacher problems: I checked for jobs the night before and found none, then they..."

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 15:07:34 -0400

“Substitute teacher problems: I checked for jobs the night before and found none, then they didn’t call me in the morning and all day I was sad like, “they don’t like me anymore” and my friend says, “actually, there’s no school today.””

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just going to school

Sun, 24 Feb 2013 02:14:20 -0500

just going to school

I substituted at a middle school today and a 5th grade girl was...

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 16:40:00 -0500

I substituted at a middle school today and a 5th grade girl was determined to convince me she was the BIGGEST FAN EVER of One Direction. I tried to escape and reprimand other kids but she was like a feeding shark, finally finding some new prey to bestow her knowledge upon. I now know things including their birth dates, tattoo locations, and blood types.

I’m so done.

NNNNOOOOOOO

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 14:35:16 -0500

NNNNOOOOOOO

meme4u: http://memeblock.com/ My one friend is like this. I...

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 07:05:47 -0400

meme4u:

http://memeblock.com/

My one friend is like this. I don’t even know what to say to her.

So I’m a substitute teacher, and my discomfort reached a...

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 14:13:20 -0400

So I’m a substitute teacher, and my discomfort reached a new level today when I heard three middle school girls talking about pedobear.

Except they pronounced it ‘pee-doo-bear,’ and I realized from their conversation that they had no idea that pedobear represented pedophilia. I couldn’t tell them it was inappropriate for school because I couldn’t tell them I knew what it was. FML these kids are going to kill me.

I substituted a third grade class today and met the sweetest...

Tue, 01 May 2012 18:10:30 -0400

I substituted a third grade class today and met the sweetest little girl who was wearing these two lanyards around her neck. She was so cute, I had to ask her about them.

On the right is the vampire, Edward, and on the left is the little girl pig named Bob-Elaina, who has a cross to protect her from Edward.

I was substitute teaching an elementary class, and I saw this...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 02:07:00 -0400

I was substitute teaching an elementary class, and I saw this little boy drawing transformers. I was thrilled, and told him I love transformers and enthusiastically asked him about his drawings. This one, he says, is his own made-up character. It reminds me of Knockout with spikes.

I later discovered that he is typically one of the bad kids, but he behaved perfectly for me. I’ve since subbed that class more than once and he always behaves himself. I think we’re bros now.

I’m a substitute teacher and a Transformers fan. Today I...

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 18:57:00 -0500

I’m a substitute teacher and a Transformers fan. Today I substituted for a kindergarten class. The instructions said to read ‘Wheels on the Bus,’ but the kids wailed angrily because they’d read it yesterday. So instead I told them the story of the War for Cybertron, based on Transformers Exodus.

“Once upon a time, on the planet Cybertron, there lived a librarian…”

I’ve had to resort to this story before, and they always get a kick out of it when I tell them Optimus Prime worked in a library. I also tell them Megatron was a wrestler, since I can’t tell them he was a gladiator. But whenever I tell the story, the biggest surprise to them is that Optimus and Megatron used to be friends.

Moving on, something astounded me when I got to the part where Optimus and Megatron approached the ‘Cybertron government’ about the fact that they wanted to choose their own jobs. A little girl raised her hand and asked, “What’s the government?”

I was like, “Whoa, pause story time. The government?”

“Yeah! What is it?” she asked.

“Well… it’s the people who make the rules for a country.”

“Rules that keep us safe?”

“Yes, like keeping everyone driving on the same side of the road.”

“And no hitting?”

“Yes. That’s not allowed.”

“So what did Optimus do next?” a boy asked.

“And what was Bumblebee’s job?” asked another.

The story of the war continued, and we had the best Story Time ever.

Stick Passion Grade: 2nd / elementary Subject: all-day class A...

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 00:23:00 -0500

Stick Passion

Grade: 2^nd / elementary

Subject: all-day class

A few girls came up to me, upset because one of the boys had something in his notebook and he was showing it to the other boys and laughing with them about it. I told him to give me the notebook but he was very, very unwilling. Finally he handed it over and I saw this drawing on the page. I disciplined him and confiscated the picture. But when I say confiscate, I really mean take home and show everyone.

Toothfairy Basketball Grade: 2nd / elementary Subject: gym Gym...

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 23:45:13 -0500

Toothfairy Basketball

Grade: 2^nd / elementary

Subject: gym

Gym class always means kids getting hurt, but even more, it means kids trying to get out of gym class. The high school and middle school students forget their clothes and the younger students just get themselves hurt and cry.

In this 2^nd grade class a girl had a sudden coughing fit, her eyes quickly becoming bloodshot from the violent cough. I sent her to the nurse at once. But two minutes later I had no less than five girls start coughing and crying in a chain reaction, tears streaming down their faces as they begged to be sent to the nurse. In my inexperience and naivety at the time, I let them all go, thinking someone had sprayed something that irritated their throats. What was I thinking? Did one of them have pepper spray? It was simply dumb of me.

But really, the story I wanted to tell was about basketball. The kids lined up to shoot a basket, which was absurdly high for them. They threw as hard as they could, and only six out of twenty-five children even hit the basket with their ball. One of the lucky six threw his ball, which bounced hard against the rim and came back to smack him right in the face.

I was so sure he was going to cry. But when the ball fell from his face, his head swam dizzily and he spat out a tooth. He grinned, mouth bloody, and said, “Hey everyone, my loose tooth came out!”

All twenty-five of them ran over to surround us, all wanting a peek at the bloody tooth in his hand. I sent him off to the nurse, for the first time sending her a happy kid.

The Angry Redhead Grade: high school Class: technology education...

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 22:53:15 -0500

The Angry Redhead

Grade: high school

Class: technology education [The same two+ week job as ‘Lips and Nipples’]

I’m not biased against redheads. I occasionally color my hair red. But this guy’s bright red hair really matched his fiery temper. On the first day I was, naturally, going nuts trying to figure out what to do with them. The previous teacher had left almost nothing to work with but general goals for the semester. A boy approached me with a name I wish I could share because it was so striking. I’ll call him Max Allistead. So Max Allistead said he had nothing to do and wanted to go to the class next door, a shop class he often visited when he had nothing to do in tech ed. I allowed him to go.

The next day he did the same thing and I let him go. But later in the day another substitute came to me and told me Max was showing up in his class for a few minutes and then walking the halls aimlessly for the rest of the period. He told me, ‘do not let him leave again’.

The day after, sure enough, Max asked to leave. I told him, ‘not today’. He frowned and stalked off to his computer. Five minutes before the end of the period a boy with a medical condition asked to leave early for lunch. He’d done this the previous two days and so I was used to it. But this time, Max Allistead was walking behind him, carrying his books. The boy told me he wasn’t feeling well and needed Max to carry them. I’m pretty sure this was bogus, considering his medical condition concerned his throat, not his arms.

I stared daggers at the boy and asked, “Do you really need help?” He said he did. I looked at Max and back at the boy and made my decision. “If you need help, you’ll have to ask someone else.”

Max exploded behind him. “Why won’t you let me leave?” he shouted.

“It’s not my decision,” I said. “I have instructions not to let you out anymore.” It was cowardly of me, but he was a scary kid and I had to think fast.

“It was the sub next door, wasn’t it?” he growled. I told him to take his seat and he stormed off like I’d insulted his mother.

I’d like to say things turned out great with Max Allistead, but they really didn’t. He barely spoke to me for the next week and a half, and played with Adobe Photoshop (an art program) rather than doing his projects. On the second to last day I saw him using the smudge tool, smearing colors around the digital canvas. With eight years of experience using the program, Photoshop was my specialty. I approached him and opened a new file, some celebrity girl I took off the internet. I showed him how to use the same smudge tool to give her vampire fangs, pointed ears, longer eyelashes and bushy eyebrows. Of course he wasn’t impressed, and left the class without speaking to me. But the next day when he thought I was busy, I saw him using the smudge tool, putting a fancy set of shark teeth on a photograph of some poor girl.

Little Bros Grade: kindergarten Subject: supplemental reading I...

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 22:01:39 -0500

Little Bros

Grade: kindergarten

Subject: supplemental reading

I went to pick a boy up from his class to bring him to the reading room. He was very tiny and shy, and kept quiet as we walked. In the hall another boy came out of his classroom, maybe a 2^nd grader. To my surprise, they shared a little hug before my kindergartener continued walking. He looked up and said, “That’s my best friend.”

Bad Jokes and Fake Laughs Grade: 8th grade/middle school Class:...

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 21:58:00 -0500

Bad Jokes and Fake Laughs

Grade: 8^th grade/middle school

Class: math

After finishing all of their work, I started chatting with the boys about high school. After a while they started to like me even more, and the conversations got more interesting. I became too comfortable and started telling the Lips and Nipples story. But as I told them the kid had pierced his own nipples, I realized my story was a flop. It was only my dumb grin that told them the story was over.

I really expected them to smile and cringe, but they burst into the most jovial and awkward laughter I’d ever heard. The bell rang and they said goodbye, and I couldn’t help feeling that the world was an okay place if middle school kids were laughing just to make me happy.